Of Love Letters and Lollipops
by bel11
Summary: It's Lily and James' seventh year. Our favorite teenagers have grown very close over the past six years, and another year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry can only bring them closer. Confusion, laughter, craziness, love, and hate build up among the friends as their relationships change in different ways that they never would have expected. JP/LE, SB/OC, RL/OC
1. Chapter 1

_You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it. - J.K. Rowling_

The room was white. Lily Evans stared at the chalky ceiling, her mind almost as blank as the plain white walls. Her body was completely relaxed on the soft surface of the bed beneath her. She lay there, completely unaware of the low voices coming from the other side of the pale green door. Nothing in the room was moving, not even the air. All was stillness except for Lily's slowly beating heart and the soft rising and falling of her chest as she breathed. She tried to lift an arm, but her limbs were so heavy that she felt they might sink through the mattress and crash onto the floor. Lily closed her eyes and took a deep breath that filled her lungs with air and her back with pain. Finally she managed to lift her arm and prop herself up on an elbow. She pulled herself up into a sitting position with her free arm and swung her acing legs over the side of the bed.

Curtains were drawn over a window in the corner of the room. Desperate for some fresh air, Lily tried to get over to the window to open it, but she could barely stand. Instead she sat and examined her surroundings with confusion. There were two comfortable looking armchairs near the green door, along with a small table and a lamp. Beside Lily's bed stood a complicated looking machine with many flashing lights and numbers. There was also a counter with a sink and some cabinets. On the counter sat a telephone and a number of books that Lily could not make out the names of.

Lily fell back onto her pillow and squeezed her eyes shut to try and keep her head from pounding. Nothing in the white room made any sense to her at all. She had no idea where she was or how she had managed to get there. With a gasp of pain Lily pulled her legs up to her chest and hugged herself into a ball. She pressed her face into her knees and tried to make sense of everything around her, but her brain seemed to have turned to mush.

Lily jumped when there was a tap on the green door. "Are you awake?" someone whispered as the door creaked open. Lily sat up again and looked into the frightened eyes of her sister.

"Petunia," she gasped.

"Oh, Lily," Petunia rushed to Lily's side and sat down on her bed. She wrapped her arms around her sister and buried her face in Lily's shoulder. "You're okay. You're okay," Petunia sobbed, spilling tears down the front of Lily's pale green hospital gown.

Lily sat and stared at her sister, slightly shocked by her behavior. Of course she was fine. There was no reason for her to feel otherwise. Lily awkwardly wrapped her arms around Petunia and tried to comfort her. "Yes, yes I'm fine," Lily whispered into her sister's ear. But Petunia only held on tighter and continued to cry in Lily's arms.

"What is wrong with you?" Lily asked suddenly, pulling Petunia's face up so she could wipe away her tears.

"Lily, I thought something t-terrible had h-happened!" Petunia stammered. She clutched onto Lily with surprisingly firm grip. "I was so f-frightened!"

Lily gazed into Petunia's eyes, completely unmoved and uncertain. "What are you talking about?"

Petunia gasped. "Y-you don't know?" she whispered, "You don't remember?"

Lily slowly shook her head. She was staring into Petunia's eyes just trying to comprehend. If only she could understand what was happening. But everything was a blur. She could barely remember what month it was or what year. She closed her eyes as tightly as she could and thought back… what had happened to her before she woke up in the white room? Nothing. There was nothing. She thought of her house and her parents' faces. She thought of summer and what it had held. They had been travelling…

"Lily?" Petunia's voice was so low that Lily could barely hear it. "Don't you remember? The crash?"

The crash. Lily wrenched her green eyes open and stared into Petunia's grey ones. And as if she was watching it on a movie screen, Lily saw in her mind exactly what had happened. Lily remembered.

_11 hours previously._

_Lily Evans lay in the sand with her eyes closed and her hands clasped behind her head. The sun shot blinding rays of light down onto her as she wiggled her toes in the cold sand beneath her feet. In the distance waves could be heard, gently splashing onto the shore. Lily's gorgeous auburn hair rippled in the wind as she sat up to get a last good look at the ocean. The sun looked beautiful as it cast its beams of light down onto the hard earth, and the blueness of the waves shone bright in the reflection of the sun._

"Lily, let's go!" Petunia's voice broke into the few moments of peacefulness.

"Coming," Lily called as she rose and trudged toward the steep wooden stairs leading up to the dock. Her father was hefting the family's heavy suitcases into the trunk of their car when Lily finally reached the beach house. Lily loved spending time at the beach in Florida, U.S.A. They went for two weeks every summer to visit their Grandmother who had moved there almost six years before, but then again she couldn't wait to get back home to see her friends.

"Mind helping me with these, Lils?" Mr. Evans asked. Lily walked over to her father and assisted him in putting the rest of their things in the car. When everything was ready, they all gathered around Lily's grandma to say their goodbyes.

"Now, you stay out of trouble, Missy Lil, got that?"

"Of course, Grandma," Lily smiled and gave her one last hug.

"Have a safe trip!"

The car slowly pulled out of the small driveway and rolled down the street.

_Lily hated plane rides. She tried to read the whole time to keep herself from thinking of all the horrible things that could happen. She looked around to make sure no muggles were looking as she pulled out __Advanced Potions__ to do some left over homework. She silently slipped the cover of her other book over it so no one would catch the title._

"What are you doing?" Petunia asked coldly.

"Homework, why?" Lily calmly replied; not looking up from her book.

"Freak," Petunia muttered and turned toward the window.

Lily rolled her eyes, "Oh grow up," she said

A lady with a cart of food and drinks stopped beside Lily's seat, "Would you like anything, dears?" The flight attendant asked.

"Oh, no I'm fine, thanks," Lily said with a smile. The flight attendant looked at Petunia who shrugged and shook her head.

"Okay, you girls have a nice flight," the attendant smiled and moved the cart along.

Lily turned around in her seat, "What time is it, Mum?" she asked.

"Almost five-thirty," came the reply. Lily groaned and faced the front again.

"Don't worry, darling, it's only about two more hours. You'll be fine."

"Only?" Petunia moaned. Lily gritted her teeth and returned to her book. She could very easily apparate right out of her seat and into her warm bed at home, but travelling with the family always meant sacrifice. Lily giggled to herself as she tried to imagine the look on the flight attendant's face is she disappeared out of thin air. It definitely wasn't the best idea when surrounded by muggles.

_After a seven hour plane ride and almost two hours on the road, Lily was starting to feel a little car sick. She curled up in her seat and tried to fall asleep, but the bumpy ride kept her awake._

"Are you alright, sweetie?" Mr. Evans asked.

"Yeah. I'll be fine, thanks, Dad," Lily replied.

"Just hold tight it'll be about fifteen more minutes," her mom said.

"Okay," Lily smiled. She turned to look out the window and it made her feel even sicker when she saw a speeding car. The car kept on getting faster and Lily noticed its left blinker was on. _What's the matter with them?__ she thought. Then she realized that the car was trying to pull into their lane._

"Dad, look out!" Lily shouted as she reached for her wand, but it was too late. There was a stomach-turning jolt as the two cars collided with surprising force. Lily heard her mother scream and her father's voice cry out as their car skidded toward the heavy trees lining the side of the road, and the last thing Lily saw was the back of her father's seat rushing to meet her.

"Petunia," Lily looked up into her sister's eyes. They were filled with some sort of emotion, but Lily couldn't decipher what. She had never seen her sister act like this. This frightened, worrisome woman was totally new. Where was the bitter girl who resented Lily for her unique powers? Where was the jealous sister who Lily knew wished deep down that she could share the wizarding world? Instead it was just like they were little again. Here was young Lily and Petunia, sitting together on a hospital bed as if their relationship had never been severed.

"Mum and Dad," Petunia whispered, "They're-"

Suddenly the door to the hospital room creaked open once more, and a young doctor with sandy blonde hair poked his head in the room. When he saw Lily and Petunia he gave a small smile. "Miss Evans," said the doctor to Lily, "How are you feeling? I'm glad to see you've woken up." He had a slightly raspy voice in which Lily could hear a touch of sympathy.

"I'm fine," Lily tried to sound confident, but her voice came out as barely more than a whisper.

The doctor approached Lily's hospital bed and pressed a button on one of the machines next to her. "I am Travis Morts, your primary doctor," he said with another small smile, "I need you to tell me, Lily, do you remember what happened?" Doctor Morts glanced at Petunia who was still sitting on the edge of Lily's bed. Her face was white and her hand was clutching Lily's with surprising strength.

"I was in a car crash," Lily said slowly. She too was staring at her sister, analyzing her strange behavior. Why was Petunia still worried? Other than the pain in her head, Lily was fine.

Doctor Morts nodded. "Lily," he said again, "We ran some tests while you were unconscious. The crash did no damage except for some bruising along your spine and a little bang on the head," Doctor Morts was smiling at her, she assumed to try and put her at ease. Lily looked at the doctor, appreciating that he was trying to sugarcoat things for her. "I really am fine," she croaked again.

"I know," Doctor Morts was patient, "but just to be sure, "I'm going to have your nurse come in to check your vitals and ask a few questions, alright?"

Lily nodded and watched the doctor turn to leave the room. "Wait," she said, reaching her hand up as if to catch the back of Doctor Morts' coat and pull him back into the room, "Where are our parents?"

Doctor Morts looked back at the sisters with yet another one of his sympathetic smiles, "Your father is being treated on the third floor," he said. As the words left his mouth, Lily watched something change in his eyes. It was more than sympathy. It was hopelessness. Though she didn't want to think it, Lily knew what the look meant. She barely even heard the doctor's next words, "but let's not worry, let's focus on getting you better," and he was gone.

Lily was on her feet in a flash. The pain in her head was almost unbearable, but she remembered the look in Doctor Morts' eyes and it kept her on her feet. "What are you doing?" Petunia's voice seemed far away as Lily did a second scan of the hospital room. Finally she spotted a bag on the floor next to one of the armchairs in the corner. Lily rushed over to it, and sure enough, it contained the jeans and blue t-shirt she had been wearing during the crash.

"Lily? What are you doing?" Petunia asked again as Lily frantically pulled her clothes on. "We have to find Mum and Dad," Lily managed, "I have to get to them." She reached into the pocket of her jeans and sighed with relief as her fingers clasped around her wand. She pulled it out, and felt rather than saw Petunia's eyes widen behind her. Lily didn't care. She pulled the green door open and sprinted into the hospital hallway, ignoring the nervous glances from several nurses outside the door.

Lily continued to run until she was bounding down a flight of stairs and into the third floor's intensive care unit. "Miss! You cannot be in here!" A young male doctor shouted at Lily as she printed past him, searching for some kind of sign that her father was near. She then heard hurried footsteps behind her, and glanced back to see that Petunia had followed. As Lily turned her head back around she found herself blocked by two tall nurses. Without slowing down, Lily flicked her wand and watched the confused expressions appear on the nurses faces as they became blocked by an invisible barrier, allowing Lily and Petunia slip around them.

"Lily!" Petunia's voice rang out, and Lily skidded to a halt around a corner. She turned and saw her sister staring into one of the small rooms just off the main corridor of the unit. Lily scrambled to her sister's side, pushing past a busy nurse as she made her way into the room. There was a long, hollow beeping sound coming from one of the machines in the room, and several doctors stood silently around two lifeless forms. As she slowly approached the beds, Lily could hear nothing but her own exhausted lungs, desperately trying to work air in an out. Her eyes groped the faces of her mother and father, searching for some sign of hope. But it was lost. She had been too late.

"No," Lily didn't know if it had come out as a whisper or a shout. The world was spinning around her, and before she knew it she was on her knees, her hands clutching up toward her father's bed as her wand dropped to the floor. "No!" she said again, and this time she was aware of the simultaneous sob that escaped her. "I was too late. I was too late," she mumbled through her tears.

"Lily, it's okay," Lily felt a soft hand on her shoulder. She whipped around and glared into the eyes of her grieving sister. "No it's not!" Lily sobbed. "Don't you understand? I could have saved them! I was too late." Petunia's eyes widened once more as she took in to sight of Lily's wand lying on the floor. Lily knew that she now fully understood. Lily could have saved them, but she failed. It was her fault.

"It's my fault," Lily whispered, voicing her agonizing thoughts. Petunia stared at her sister, her eyes still wide. Slowly she withdrew her hand and began to back away, keeping her eyes on Lily as she stood and dashed out the door, sobbing as she went.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N – Thank you for the favorites! I was shocked and delighted when I received the emails that my story had been viewed so many times in just a few hours. Please review if you can! I would love some feedback and/or constructive criticism.**

**I usually won't be posting chapters so frequently, but I was so excited that I wanted to go ahead and share the next installment, even though it is much shorter. Please review if you can.**

**Much love,**

**Bel**

_In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing. -Robert Ingersoll_

"Oi, Remus! Keep up with the pack, will you?" James Potter's voice was loud with a hint of amusement. Though Remus couldn't see his friend's face, he imagined a small smirk on his lips at the thought of his little joke. Remus rolled his eyes and glanced up from his feet, noting that his three friends were much farther ahead than he realized. For the hundredth time that day he cursed himself for agreeing to meet in Diagon Alley the morning after a full moon.

"Coming!" Remus called back to James as he trudged along. He was already out of breath, his body still exhausted from the night's transformation. That morning he had woken up in the abandoned shed in the woods behind his neighborhood, not knowing if he had turned any humans into victims during the night. Remus shook the thought out of his head and pushed his body into a jog to catch up with his friends.

"Sorry, mate," Remus muttered as he reached James, Sirius, and Peter. They were standing outside a particular shop, gazing through the window at its contents. Remus glanced at his silent friends and then through the glass. _Of course_, he though to himself. It was Quality Quidditch Supplies.

"You think you're going to get one?" Peter asked James and Sirius, nodding toward a broom that was displayed in the window. It was the newest model of the Silver Arrow, just released at the beginning of that summer. Remus didn't know everything about Quidditch, but he did know that this was the most coveted broom among players. He could even tell by the broom's sleek design.

Remus heard James' teeth grind together. "No, I'm not," James said forcefully, and Remus knew he was thinking of the Quidditch captain position. Their Hogwarts letters had come a little early that year, and no such honor had been found in James' envelope. However, Remus found it slightly odd that it wasn't in Sirius' letter either. He would have sworn to Merlin that one of his closest friends would have scored the position. They were both brilliant players, after all. To comfort his friends, Remus had voiced his opinion that a second letter might come later in the summer, but even he didn't know if the was a possibility.

"C'mon, let's just go get our books," Remus said. He didn't want his friends lingering on their Quidditch dilemma any longer. You never knew what kind of violence James' and Sirius' obsession with the sport could provoke.

The Marauders made their way toward Flourish and Blotts, pushing past crowds of witches and wizards that were mostly comprised of students and their parents shopping for school items. After all, September first was just a little over two weeks away.

"Hello, boys," said a hollow female voice as soon as the four stepped into the shop. The Marauders turned to their left to find two lovely Gryffindor sixth years perched by the shop window. The blonde was reading a thin green magazine while the slender brunette was looking up from a small pocket mirror. The brunette slipped the mirror back into her handbag and approached the boys with a smile.

"Hello, Melina," James said smoothly, returning the pretty girl's smile. "You're looking good, as always." Melina Goodman's smile broadened as she turned to beckon the second girl forward.

"You remember my friend, Sadie?" Melina gestured to the blonde who stretched her hand out towards James, "Hi," she said with a shy smile.

"Pleasure to see you," James returned. "This is Sirius, Remus, and Peter," he introduced each of the Marauders in turn, "Melina and I were partners in Astronomy last year."

Remus nodded as he shook the hand of both girls. He certainly recognized them from around the common room, but had never had the chance to speak to either of them. Leave it to James to befriend the pretty girls of the year below them, even if he did have to take the lower level of Astronomy because he had failed to enroll in it for fifth year.

"It seems you've been hiding the underclassmen gems for yourself, James!" Sirius joked after he shook the girl's hands. Melina smiled again while Sadie's cheeks flushed slightly pink.

"Don't blame him," Melina said as she brushed a wavy brown lock behind her ear, "We requested to be hidden, right J?" she gave a playful wink and beckoned once again for her friend to follow as she started out the door of the shop. "See you boys on the train!" And with one last wave goodbye, she and Sadie were gone.

Remus turned to James with raised eyebrows, "J?" he asked suspiciously.

"Shut up," James rolled his eyes, but he was smiling all the same.

"Yeah, Moony," Sirius agreed, "She could call me 'S' all she wanted. She's hot."

Remus snorted. "And I'm sure you'll make sure she knows it," he said. He dug in his pocket and pulled out the list of books needed for Seventh year students. "Shall we?" he said, motioning toward the student section of the shop. James, Sirius, and Peter nodded and followed Remus to the shelves.

Several shopping bags and a few short hours later, Remus had apparated onto the back porch of his family's home. With a grunt he lifted the bags higher onto his shoulder and pushed through the back door.

"Oh, hi, Dad," Remus said when he noticed his father standing in the kitchen. He was leaning over the counter and sorting through several letters, no doubt from the Ministry of Magic. Mr. Lupin worked in the Ministry as an investigator for the Improper Use of Magic Office.

"Hello, son," Mr. Lupin said with a smile. He waved his wand toward Remus, causing the shopping bags to lift from his shoulders and float over to the kitchen table.

"Thanks," Remus said.

"How was Diagon Alley? Are you feeling okay?" Mr. Lupin approached his son, no doubt worrying about his transformation the previous night.

"Yeah, Dad, don't worry. I feel fine," There was still concern etched on Mr. Lupin's face. "What's up?" his son asked.

Mr. Lupin sighed and returned to his pile of papers on the counter. He picked one of them up and examined it for a few seconds, "I thought you should know that one of your school friends appeared in court today," he said.

"Really? Who?" Remus was surprised that his father would bring up such a subject. He had never revealed the details of any of his cases.

"Lily Evans"

"What?" Remus stared at his father, shocked. "Lily Evans? Are you sure?"

Mr. Lupin turned back toward Remus and nodded sadly. "It was an unfortunate situation," he explained, "She performed a blockade charm in a Muggle hospital. She got off charges though, due to temporary trauma."

"What happened?" Remus breathed.

"Lily's family was in a car crash. Neither of her parents survived."

Remus stared at his father, his mouth open in shock and horror. He tried to envision the pain that the Evans family must be going through, and his heart ached for his friend. He and Lily had never been extremely close, but she was certainly one of the sweetest and most genuine girls in their year. Even so, he could never imagine losing parents, especially those as caring as Mr. and Mrs. Evans. Remus had even had the chance to meet Lily's parents in Diagon Alley the summer before their fifth year. "How… horrible," Remus managed "When did it happen?"

"Yes, it certainly is," Mr. Lupin agreed, "It was about a week ago. Poor Lily was handling things well, considering, but I thought you might like to write her if you knew."

"Yeah. Yes, of course," Remus said. His mind was still trying to process the tragedy. "I'll go and do that now."

Mr. Lupin nodded, and Remus turned to jog up the stairs to his bedroom. He pulled a piece of parchment and a quill out of his desk, and scribbled a short letter to Lily. When it was complete, Remus called out his window to the Lupin family owl, Kember, who was perched on a bush in the front yard. He tied the rolled up letter to Kember's leg, whispered the name of the recipient in her ear, and watched as she took off into the evening sky.


End file.
